I noticed that many organisations have motivational posters put up around the office to encourage their staff to go the extra mile. But I'm wondering exactly how many people actually stop midway in their work to look at these posters and ponder on their messages.
Maybe I'm alone on this but I'm pretty desensitised to these posters as I've been exposed to them since national service. However, what I do find interesting and amusing to read in-between work are demotivational posters . For the new and uninitiated, here's an example:
Of course your HR department would never put these up around the office but hey, I seriously think it has a better effect since humor's a good way to help unwind while you're working on your deadlines.
And here's my favourite list of demotivational messages:
- Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.
- Blame: The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
- Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
- Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
- Demotivation: Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
- Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
- Power: Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
- Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
- Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
- Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.
I received an email from a friend with several stories related to lessons in the corporate world. Here are two of the six that I found amusing.
Story 1
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Story 2
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on
him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. Thedung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Of course your HR department would never put these up around the office but hey, I seriously think it has a better effect since humor's a good way to help unwind while you're working on your deadlines.
